Look out! There’s a tiger in your inbox!
More accurately? It’s an email from your boss about an upcoming meeting you forgot to prepare for. But your body doesn’t know the difference.
Whether it’s a jungle beast, a difficult coworker, a career change, or next week’s dentist appointment looming as the cause, the effect is the same:
Stress.
It’s our body’s response to any threat or demand.
When we’re feeling overwhelmed with work challenges, personal challenges, or a longing for growth and pursuing big goals, it can be daunting and overwhelming to see a way through. After all, everyday stressors like unruly coworkers or traffic jams aren’t going to magically disappear once you begin the work to temper the stress creeping into your sphere.
The good news is that ways to cope are abundant. And a solution to help you walk through stressful seasons may be closer than you think.
Help Is on the Way
According to the American Psychological Association’s 2023 Stress in America, stress and its effects on the collective mental and physical health as a country is on the rise. And nearly half of Americans are going through their struggles alone.
Nearly 50% of the people surveyed said they’d love to have someone help them reduce their stress. And a coach is a natural person who can do just that.
What’s in a Name?
I earned the nickname “the Stress Coach” in my early professional career as a health educator specializing in stress reduction at Columbia University.
But my relationship with stress (yes, we’ve had our ups and downs), began when I was 10 after I was diagnosed with what my doctors believe to be the “largest brain tumor on record.”
The effect of the brain tumor left me nearly blind for three years. Throughout the rest of my childhood, I underwent brain surgeries and struggled through rehab to regain my vision — as you can imagine, it was a stressful way to grow up.
I didn’t realize that the effects of growing up with so much stress would compound into adulthood. In college, I’d frequent the student health service, complaining about various pains and digestive issues.
My doctor prescribed a stress reduction course, a rarity in the 1980s. Even though I was a little embarrassed to do so, I took his advice and enrolled in this class.
I couldn’t have known that decision would one day become the catalyst to my entire career.
Today, I have the honor of helping thousands of people around the world cope with stress. And the first step is helping others manage their stress by giving them a better picture of what stress is…and isn’t.
And assembling people in their corner to help.
What We Get Wrong About What’s Stressing Us Out
To understand how to cope with stress — and how a coach can help their clients manage stress — we first need to set the record straight about its misconceptions in our lives.
Stress is Normal — Not a Way of Life
While stress is certainly normal, it’s not healthy to be stressed all the time. Those who feel on edge, feel overwhelmed, or have trouble sleeping are living a life that isn’t sustainable and hinders their ability to operate in the here and now.
Sleeping well, regular physical activity, breathing exercises, and working with a coach can help manage the physical effects that stressors place on our lives.
We Shouldn’t Get Rid of All the Stress
Stress can certainly have a negative impact on our physical health, mental wellness, and interpersonal relationships, but not all stress is created equally.
In fact, many of my clients are surprised to learn that some stress is good. It’s an inevitable part of life. It’s a vital part of life. It can help us become more resilient and grow.
Even good things, like changing a career, writing a book, and running a marathon can manifest as stress in our lives and put a demand on the body.
This is where coaching fits in.
A Fringe Benefit
I’ve found through years of coaching others that no matter what type of professional or personal goal you’re trying to attain, you will receive some stress reduction techniques along the way. This results from the support and understanding that comes from a coach working with clients one-on-one.
Many of us think we can handle things on our own without consulting others and without help. We’re told, even as children, that we should be individuals. We should be strong and handle things on our own.
But the fact is, I like to say that coaching is as vital to an individual as a pit crew in a race. Your car needs maintenance before it can burn rubber on the track — and you can’t go out there in your own metaphorical race without that support.
How Coaching Helps With Stress Management
While a coach certainly can’t eliminate all the challenges in someone’s life, they can help them implement simple changes to navigate through those challenges more effectively.
Coaching Gives Perspective
Coaches are trained to ask probing questions that expand thinking to help change and shape goals. With that perspective shift, they help you break goals into more manageable tasks, making them easier to tackle without feeling overwhelmed.
Coaching Gives Accountability
It’s simple. We perform differently when we have an audience. Similarly, we take our goals more seriously when we report on progress with a coach. This can create a good pressure and motivator to work on the sub-goals in order to reach the bigger ones.
Coaching Trains You to Chill
Many coaches are ready to teach you calming and focus techniques, like Quick Calm and Rehearsal Imagery — methods I train other coaches, health care providers, and educators to use with those they support. These techniques help you quickly manage stress and are practical tools for everyday situations, keeping you on track and ensuring you cross the finish line.
To top things off, you have a person who knows how your mind works and how you’re motivated to help you along the way — and who wouldn’t want that?
All in all, it’s critical to remember something about stress in our lives: you don’t have to go it alone.
Ready to take charge of your stress management while pursuing your professional and personal goals? Find your coach using the ICF Credentialed Coach Finder.
Jordan Friedman
Every day, Jordan Friedman helps thousands of stressed and anxious people worldwide work, sleep and feel better. He is a pioneer of stress management and wellness promotion, first as director of Columbia University’s Health Education Program and now as Founder of The Stress Coach, a ‘chill factory’ that produces stress reduction programs and resources.
Motivated by his own stress-to-success story, Jordan has trained and coached everyone from CEOs and college students to police officers and incarcerated adults. His corporate and educational clients include Harvard University, NBC-Universal, Credit Europe Bank, International Coaching Federation, PwC and the New York City Department of Education.
Author of The Stress Manager’s Manual, and host of The Chill Factory podcast, Jordan manages his own stress in New York City.
